Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My breath smells like gin and sadness
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
