so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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