If i come over, it means nothing
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
