dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
