This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
