whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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