I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
