Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
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