Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
40s are totally the cure
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
