The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
