Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
