Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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