I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
