I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
