So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
