It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
