i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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