considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
