im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
