I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
