i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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