oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Randomize
