I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
