Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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