his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
And then my night got REAL pukey
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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