When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
