i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
