You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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