Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize