i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I currently don't understand fingers.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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