A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
