I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
