I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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