Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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