The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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