Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
