Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
