are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize