Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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