YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
