Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize