if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize