What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
