I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
