Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Girls should come with a carfax report
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
