what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
