it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize