Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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