I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
