he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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