who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
