Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
