I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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