I am spending my child support on dildos
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
