This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
