she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
