I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
