Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize