lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
