The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
