The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
