therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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