For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize