Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i think i have two assholes
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
