Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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