I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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