she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
