Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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