It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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