can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
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