If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
