So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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