Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
