Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Randomize
