Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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