I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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